Posts Tagged ‘ Luke Roloff ’

“99 Bottles of Fear on the Wall, 99 Bottles of Fear,” by Luke Roloff

Jun 30th, 2021 | By

99 bottles of fear on the wall, 99 bottles of fear, take one down and pass it around, 100 bottles of fear on the wall. 



“A Music Critic Unpacks the Deeper Meaning of ‘Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)’ by C+C Music Factory,” by Luke Roloff

Feb 10th, 2021 | By

Picture a factory. No, not like that. Like a mega metronome fueled by space and time. Billowing smokestacks ascend into the ethers, releasing sonorous aphorisms born of byzantine soothsayers. Turning cogs crank such a hyper neo sea change that your atmosphere reverts to primordial Babylon. There, can you see it now? This is the C+C Music Factory.



“#SorryAboutTheLengthOfThisHashtag,” by Luke Roloff

Dec 18th, 2019 | By

#SorryAboutTheLengthOfThisHashtagButJustWantedToCoverMyBasesWithAsManyAudiencesAsHumanlyPossible



“Don’t Look Now, But I Think Those Tapered Jeans 30% Off Are Tailing Me,” by Luke Roloff

Oct 17th, 2018 | By

Okay. Play it cool. Don’t look. But I think those Tapered Jeans 30% Off are tailing me.

Why do I think that? Well, for starters, they’ve been popping up in my rear-view for two long weeks.



“This letter is really signed by the CEO of your credit card company,” by Luke Roloff

Jan 31st, 2018 | By

Dear Person,

I hope this letter finds you confused and reliant on people with money.

I’m writing, me, the CEO, to let you know about how our big company did something bad.