Posts Tagged ‘ Luke Roloff ’

“A Music Critic Unpacks the Deeper Meaning of ‘Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)’ by C+C Music Factory,” by Luke Roloff

Feb 10th, 2021 | By

Picture a factory. No, not like that. Like a mega metronome fueled by space and time. Billowing smokestacks ascend into the ethers, releasing sonorous aphorisms born of byzantine soothsayers. Turning cogs crank such a hyper neo sea change that your atmosphere reverts to primordial Babylon. There, can you see it now? This is the C+C Music Factory.



“#SorryAboutTheLengthOfThisHashtag,” by Luke Roloff

Dec 18th, 2019 | By

#SorryAboutTheLengthOfThisHashtagButJustWantedToCoverMyBasesWithAsManyAudiencesAsHumanlyPossible



“Don’t Look Now, But I Think Those Tapered Jeans 30% Off Are Tailing Me,” by Luke Roloff

Oct 17th, 2018 | By

Okay. Play it cool. Don’t look. But I think those Tapered Jeans 30% Off are tailing me.

Why do I think that? Well, for starters, they’ve been popping up in my rear-view for two long weeks.



“This letter is really signed by the CEO of your credit card company,” by Luke Roloff

Jan 31st, 2018 | By

Dear Person,

I hope this letter finds you confused and reliant on people with money.

I’m writing, me, the CEO, to let you know about how our big company did something bad.



“Understanding the Solar Power vs. Wind Power vs. Magic Power Debate,” by Luke Roloff

Jan 18th, 2017 | By

Since the dawn of man, we’ve passionately debated which alternative energy source is best. On and on it goes, boring as hell. Always leading back to one place. Sitting Indian style in a semi-circle asking ourselves, once we’ve blown through all the oil, what’s the best way to make more oil?