There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says “Morning, boys. How’s the Dasani water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, “What the hell is Dasani water?”

Once upon a time, there was a young gentleman named Josh. And Josh, I’m sorry to say, was a man who would never find love. He never had, and he likely never would. Because Josh was cursed.