Posts Tagged ‘ genevieve valentine ’

Abridged Classics: Tess of the d’Urbervilles

Dec 13th, 2010 | By

Every once in a while, Eileen and Andrew knock me on the shoulder with their billy-club of friendship and say, “You’re up!”, and I fire up the world’s worst video-editing software, Abridge some Classics, and mortify the English professors who only ever tried to make me appreciate literature. Obviously, I am not here to tell

[continue reading…]



The Best Fake Movies of 2011: An Early Look

Sep 30th, 2010 | By

It’s never too early to look ahead to fake-movie awards season! (No joke, I spent most of my college life looking forward to 2003 so The Lord of the Rings could finally win its collective Oscar and get it over with already. This is a little less early than that. Barely.) However, for movie enthusiasts,

[continue reading…]



Abridged Classics: Pathfinder

Aug 5th, 2010 | By

So, I while ago, I made an Abridged Classic for Pathfinder, an appalling example of racism in cinema, and also an appalling example of cinema. And man, there was plenty to show you. Especially because writing about this movie just doesn’t do it justice. It’s one thing to write, “The Native American characters are useless.”

[continue reading…]



Abridged Classics: Lorna Doone

Jun 24th, 2010 | By

If there is one thing I love in this world, one thing it’s impossible to ruin, it is a period piece that brings together a talented cast. It’s a chance to discover the next big thing; a chance to enjoy those who have been chosen to work together because they’re at the top of their

[continue reading…]



Abridged Classics: Pathfinder

Aug 6th, 2009 | By

Everyone loves a good yarn about Vikings and inexplicably childlike Native Americans and eyeballs flying all over the place, right? Remember that time Vikings almost wiped out all the Native Americans, except that other Viking was there to save them, even though he had been adopted by them and then outcast for no reason? Oh,

[continue reading…]