On the seventh day,
God created ugly underwear.

He went bankrupt;
Adam and Eve offered

each other their bad breath
by eating an apple.

They kissed for the first time.
God did his arithmetic.

For reasons of debt,
He decided that the first man

and first woman
could take only two sons

outside the garden –
one wrapped in ugly underwear,

the other in cabbage leaves.
He was against

the idea of cockroaches
cleaning up after

a family of more than four.
It is a sad fact

that Cain eventually
killed his brother. Many theologians

call it the first homicide,
but there remains a persistent 1%

that still insists
it was ugly underwear.

About Your Bucket

It’s the good day I’ve had coming.
Don’t be rude. Of course, I stole it.

I do my washing there now.
And other hands-on driving activities.

Like please remove all foreign
objects from your eye. Or bake at 360°.

The hole on its backside
grows on me like a bullfrog.

Don’t pretend you never noticed –
I’ve seen you looking through it.

Pervert. What have you got
at the corner of your mouth again?

I thought I’ve cured you
of drooling two marriages ago.

And no, I don’t want another love letter.
We have the roadkill for that.

Your bucket, it’s shaped halfway
between Jane Eyre and a cowboy boot.

Sometimes I undress, clunking it
around. Does that answer your prayer?

____________________
Arlene Ang has been abducted by aliens since 1934. She’s being treated well for a woman who likes to wear plastic fangs to bed. Her poems are tolerated and sometimes used as a mustard substitute. She is sometimes beamed down at arleneang.blogspot.com to communicate good will and the latest in emoticon technology.