abridged classics
Abridged Classics: Tess of the d’Urbervilles
Every once in a while, Eileen and Andrew knock me on the shoulder with their billy-club of friendship and say, “You’re up!”, and I fire up the world’s worst video-editing software, Abridge some Classics, and mortify the English professors who only ever tried to make me appreciate literature. Obviously, I am not here to tell [...]
Abridged Classics: Pathfinder
So, I while ago, I made an Abridged Classic for Pathfinder, an appalling example of racism in cinema, and also an appalling example of cinema. And man, there was plenty to show you. Especially because writing about this movie just doesn’t do it justice. It’s one thing to write, “The Native American characters are useless.” [...]
Abridged Classics: Lorna Doone
If there is one thing I love in this world, one thing it’s impossible to ruin, it is a period piece that brings together a talented cast. It’s a chance to discover the next big thing; a chance to enjoy those who have been chosen to work together because they’re at the top of their [...]
Abridged Classics: Pathfinder
Everyone loves a good yarn about Vikings and inexplicably childlike Native Americans and eyeballs flying all over the place, right? Remember that time Vikings almost wiped out all the Native Americans, except that other Viking was there to save them, even though he had been adopted by them and then outcast for no reason? Oh, [...]
“Il Fantasma dell’Opera”: no, seriously.
Girl alert – I loved A Room with a View. It’s the lemon-frosted cupcake of film; what’s not to like? And of course I crushed out on George Emerson, just like any other girl who sat at home on Friday nights in high school clutching her life-size Jane Austen pillow and sighing over a guy [...]
Abridged Classics: “Becoming Jane”
Wherein I slog through two hours of retrofitted history so you don’t have to. ———— Genevieve is a prolific writer of speculative fiction living in New York, but you’ll never find her there because millions of people live there and Genevieve likes her privacy. Examples of her fiction can be found in Strange Horizons, Fantasy Magazine, [...]
Abridged Classics: “The Tudors”
Like any costume geek, I’m watching The Tudors on Showtime. But, despite the costuming, there’s something a little…different about this Henry VIII. And by “different,” I mean “flaming.” ———— Genevieve is a prolific writer of speculative fiction living in New York, but you’ll never find her there because millions of people live there and Genevieve likes [...]
“Equilbrium”: An Abridged Classics Video
Science fiction is such a hard genre to pin down. By which I mean it’s terrible. Don’t believe me? Have a look at Equilibrium, where Christian Bale spins his wheels and works on his American accent, where Sean Bean is not a bad guy and is therefore quickly dispatched, and where kids are little assholes. [...]
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