Defenestration

A mish-mash of storyteller, poet, and cartoonist, Andrew Kaye resides in opulent Box Manor where he often dreams of the sea. Once a Pirate King of some repute, Andrew has once again started recruiting a new crew, which will begin pillaging several fanciful ports after hurricane season. Submissions addressed to Andrew can be sent to submissions@defenestrationmag.net, or you can chat him up at andrew@defenestrationmag.net.

Eileen, frequent target of fallen angels, hides from his seductive wrath in the hallowed confines of this column, where she hopes to erect a wall of words between herself and the forces of evil. Eventually, she will become a human sacrifice and return as a wisecracking ghost! Until then, find her column here.

Made of space-age super plastics, and given life through the unholy marriage of science and extraterrestrial voodoo magic, Haratron is the machine in charge of the Defenestration Newsletter. If you want to be kept posted on when the latest issue of the magazine is coming up, as well as other newsworthy tidbits, send your e-mail to his address below (and don't worry, Haratron is programmed not to share your e-mail address with anyone. Not even his own mother). newsletter@defenestrationmag.net

If you can find him in this Pelennor Fields news shot, please let us know.
(Hint: he's wearing a helmet.)

The Elm Tree has been providing us with oxygen from Day One, and we can’t thank it enough. There’s no one better to read through our poetry submissions than the Elm Tree. After all, you can’t say “poetry” without “tree.” He told us to say that. Poetry submissions addressed to the Elm Tree can be sent to submissions@defenestrationmag.net.

Longtime mystery of the Pacific-Northwest, Bigfoot enjoys piña coladas and My Little Pony re-runs. We find he has a quirky sense of humor, and he loves flash fiction, which he calls “poetry with more punctuation.” Prose submissions addressed to Bigfoot can be sent to submissions@defenestrationmag.net. He’s been working for us for years—unless he hasn’t.

A blind cave fish, Ambylopsis is fond of all forms of artwork in various mediums. She’s especially partial to cartoons and photography, and loves surreal artwork. Visual submissions addressed to Ambylopsis can be sent to defenestrationmag@yahoo.com. Don’t worry about pronouncing her name. We just call her “Amber.”

Newly hired intern Ben Franklin has a lot to learn about the humor writing industry.