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A Word of Horror By Pete Butler ____________________ We felt this story deserved a bit of an
explanation. So here’s what Mr. Butler told us upon submitting this particular
piece: “I would like to submit the ultimate piece of flash fic: ‘A
Word of Horror.’ “It is one word long. “The story behind the ‘story’ is a series of emails I
exchanged with Pitch Black, editor of Horror Garage. I
was inquiring about whether or not he'd consider flash fic for his publication.
In the process of telling me ‘Yes, kinda,’ he commented ‘I once contacted
Kurt Vonnegut's agent, asking for a ONE WORD horror story. I received no
response.’ “Naturally, I interpreted this as the challenge it was clearly
meant to be. “I sent him his one-word story. He was amused, but chose not to
run it. “At the time, I insisted that I be paid the SFWA minimum
professional rate of five cents per word, which came out to $0.05 for the piece;
I assume that's why he declined. “In contrast to every other story I've had published recently, it
has nothing to do with lawn mowers. “Anyhow, as a great
philosopher once said, enough jibber-jabber. I offer
for your consideration . . .”
“[A
translation for readers who would rather claw out their eyes than decrypt the
above: ‘In the future, people who complain about the spelling, grammar, and
punctuation (mis)used by their fellow on-line denizens are outlawed.
'Internet-speak' becomes standard English usage. And it totally rocks,
dude!’]”
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(c) Defenestration Magazine, 2004