home      current issue      archives       columns      quotes       submit       staff      links 

The Big Picture

By Pete Butler 

_____________________

As much as I hated my neighbor's cat, I did not mean for that to happen.

I mean, how was I supposed to know I had that much catnip growing in my yard?

"Look at it this way," I told my neighbor. "Your cat may be gone, but luckily for cats as a species, another carrier of the 'doesn't-respect-riding-lawnmowers' gene has been purged from the gene pool."

He hit me anyway.

____________________ 

Pete Butler lives in Pittsburgh, where he is developing the Shoulder-Mounted Dachshund Launcher, a terrifying weapon which he is convinced will revolutionize modern warfare.  Interested parties are invited to visit his website at http://blairhippo.com/.  Third-world dictators welcome!