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Crime Report

By Jon Alan Carroll

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At the Dharma Hotel on Seventh Avenue, two men forced their way into the room of Michael Anderson and demanded money. The men, described as scruffy white males in their late twenties, were both armed with handguns.

After the two men entered his room, Anderson warned the robbers of the spiritual dangers inherent in an empty, narcissistic lifestyle. The two suspects quickly grasped the wisdom of this and backed out of the room.

The suspects were last seen swearing to dedicate their lives to the pursuit of Truth. They remained at large at press time.

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Jon Alan Carroll is a San Francisco writer and editor. To date, his work has been rejected by over 50 publications, including Harper's, Atlantic, and The Bingo News. His first collection, Poems of Anguish and Pain, is not currently on any bestseller list, primarily because it remains unpublished.

He describes his personal philosophy as one of "fierce apathy."