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Seldom Asked Questions (SAQ)

By Jon Alan Carroll

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What Were You Doing When the World Ended?

Tony Carmen, 28, former job seeker:

I was watching TV. There wasn't nothing on, really, so I was just sittin' there. I went to the refrigerator, but there wasn't nothing I wanted. I had some time to kill before the Muppets came on. I thought about going to the store to get some beer and everything exploded.

Shirley Fillmore, 52, ex-office manager:

I was at lunch with some of the girls from the office. We were talking about this file that was found missing from the office. My boss said I lost the file, and I told him there was no way I lost the file. One of the girls thought the boss lost the file and was covering up. No one would admit they lost the file. I got back in line to get some more fries and then the world was destroyed.

David Sizemore, 34, realtor/corpse-to-be:

I'd been angry all day because I'd quarreled with my girlfriend the night before. We fought about money again. I called her from the car and when she picked up it sounded as though she'd been crying. I was telling her she'd damn well better apologize when I saw this light, brighter than a thousand suns, and the Audi flew into the air and I thought, now I'm really furious.

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