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Elizabeth Uncovers: The Invention of the Glockenspiel By Elizabeth Foreman ____________________ Last night I nerded out and purchased the Cyndi Lauper Greatest
Collection CD. But don’t feel bad for me, at least I can admit I rock out to Girls
Just Want to Have Fun, though I still can’t publicly admit that I am a
closet Hillary Duff fan, I can only do that over email. Anywho… So today on my trip to the mall, I brought the CD with me to the
pleasure of my sister who also enjoys a good “Cyndi Lauping” every other
decade. One feature song is called “Good Enough” which is the music video
that the hot older brother from The
Goonies is watching whilst he works out in his bandana and tight gray 80s
sweats. The beginning of this song starts out with some strange Asian- or
possibly Karate Kid-inspired background beat. At the first audile exposure to
this sound in about 15 years, my sister turns to me and asks in all seriousness,
“Is that the glockenspiel?” That’s right, an instrument not mentioned in
an adult conversation since the late 1850s in Salzburg. FLASHBACK: Invention of the Glockenspiel some place in Vienna in
the early 1800s Anna Maria von Unterdrückung-“What is
that wonderful xylophone sound?” Woody von Glockenspiel- “It’s not a xylophone, it’s just like
a xylophone but for many thousands of years small school-aged children will be
forced to play it, along with what is called a recorder. Two instruments that
will eventually only exist in colonial plays and elementary school music class
rooms.” Anna Maria von Unterdrückung-“What do
you call this creation?” Woody von Glockenspiel- “I, like all humble men of this age, have
named it after myself.” Anna Maria von Unterdrückung-“And how
does one play this?” Woody von Glockenspiel- “One beats it as such.” A demonstration
occurs there in the parlor. “Give us a try.” Anna Maria von Unterdrückung- Tries.
“Oh it’s wonderful, I am only the second person to beat the Woody in
Salzburg.” Woody von Glockenspiel- “No, you imbecile! It is called the
Glockenspiel! Anna Maria von Unterdrückung- “Well
how should I know? This is the Victorian Era and I am a repressed woman! I shall
never beat thy Woody, I mean, Glockenspiel again!” ____________________ Elizabeth Foreman has been suffering from intolerable bouts of flashbackery since her traumatic head injury in early 2002. Since then, her mind has wandered to and from the Victorian Era in the most inconvenient places. |
(c) Defenestration Magazine, 2005