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Flash Non-Fiction: It's Non-Fictionalicious!
By Elizabeth Foreman
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Anyone from the South can tell you that we have a locally produced drug that is
more highly addictive and intoxicating than heroine. Not long after
crossing the Mason-Dixon (with much care, lest you skillfully play the banjo as
I) you may notice the heavenly wafting scent of rich southern culture, or more
notably, the KRISPY KREME doughnut. Better known as the doughnut. This calorie-packed, gastronomic delight will
eventually lead you to hyper-obesity, diabetes and subsequently early
death—but the proverbial salivary orgasm it induces is well-worth the medical
side-dishes with which it's served. So the next time you sit down to enjoy
your pre-packaged snack cake doughnuts by some curly-haired, blond northern
whore (that's right Miss Sunbeam, I am talking to you!) I hope you hear a
banjo-jug ensemble mocking you.
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Elizabeth Foreman calls herself a Galilean/Newtonian Ball-Kicker and
enjoys the company of attractive Persian men.
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