My Sparkling Buttocks

By Zack Tisch

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My sparkling buttocks, radiant and white
My sparkling buttocks, shining so bright
Look how they sparkle, watch how they gleam
Buttocks like these are the stuff found in dreams
Flexing these buttocks has been known to rip seams
If these buttocks could talk, they wouldn't, they'd SCREAM!

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Zack Tisch, currently a student at Duke University, says: “I wrote this poem because someone bet me that I couldn't write a poem about my ass. Not only did I win the bet, I also wrote it without the aid of a mirror. And thank god for that.”