Situation Vacant

by David Gwilym Anthony

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My cousins have a strong religious streak -

teetotal Bible belters. I don't like

those Jesus freaks: the worst one's Pastor Mike.

To my surprise I heard from him last week.

He wrote, "You've met my helper Pete, I think:

I used to take him with me when I went

to spread the Word. The man was heaven-sent

to demonstrate the ill effects of drink.

He'd drool beside me in the Gospel Hall

and urinate, then fall about the stage;

or, turning to my flock in drunken rage,

he'd stagger forth and vilify them all.

He's passed away, the poor pathetic slob:

so how about it - would you like the job?"

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David Gwilym Anthony has a website. No, he does! Look! http://www.davidgwilymanthony.co.uk/

Also, we're told he can speak the language of the animals, especially ferrets and hawks and stuff.