No Smoking
By Bernie Poliquin
____________________
A smoker
A non-smoker
And a politician
Walk into a bar
The smoker pulls out a cigarette
The non-smoker points to the “no smoking” sign
The smoker blows smoke in his face
The non-smoker complains to the politician
The politician takes a poll
The poll is inconclusive
The politician consults a bureaucracy
The bureaucracy takes a poll
The non-smoker forms an activist group
The smoker exhales billows of rebellion
The activist group riots
The bartender changes the sign to say
“No smoking unless you feel this sign violates your rights”
The non-smoker gets sick from second-hand smoke
And dies angry
The smoker gets lung cancer from first-hand smoke
And dies regretful
The politician appears on TV
And dies rich
____________________
Bernie
Poliquin is primarily known for his exhaustive essays in trying to get people to
correctly pronounce his last name, but has been known to deviate into themes of
Chronic Bowel Inflammation Syndrome (but only on Friday evenings while on
dates), as well as the constitutional monarchy of the 18th Street Taco
Shack. A semi-native of Manitoba, he currently attends classes at
Brandon University in an effort towards a Bachelor's degree in English, and
hopes to one day save the world. Or enslave it. Whichever seems the most
convenient at the time.
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