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Sonnet Contest: When Pentameter Attacks!
In
any contest, some entries are too good to leave out. They win money. The others
are too good to leave out, and it's because they are so horrible we peed
ourselves a little just reading them. Because we are horrible, we share them
with you now. Names, wording, rhyme scheme, and intent have been changed to
protect the innocent.
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"Honorable Mention" 1
I hear that Andrew likes peach pie a lot
But like chicken pot pie he does not.
He plays Mario Brothers all day
The magazine gets in his way!
Eileen is his girlfriend, we know
But from Selma he never can go!
He likes cats but not dogs
Bigfoot but not frogs.
Andrew is the best guy that we know!
Can I have a hundred dollars now?
"Honorable
Mention" 2
Ponies are as horses do
Andrew's always in the loo
maybe someday he'll come out
"He's reading Cosmo!" I should shout
Dogs are cute and cows will mew
Mr. Kaye's favorite cartoon character is Roo
Don't believe him when he says that's a lie
Smash his face in with a pie
Beating Andrew is the way to go
Because not even Tony Soprano would sink so low
To steal Eileen's favorite pair of pants
And wear them like the King of France.
You owe me 80 bucks Andrew!
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