Toilet Stall Poetry

By Allen Coyle

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Have you used a public restroom
Have you been seated inside a stall
And have you noticed the words of wisdom
That are scrawled across the wall

Curses and verses and wisecracks
Hints and tips not taught in school
Insightful quotes by scholars
Sketches of women in the nude

If you must answer the call of nature
There’s no better way to spend your time
Than to perch yourself upon a toilet
And to read these clever lines

As you’re taking care of business
You admire this masterpiece
And wonder how many have added to it
As they sat here on this seat

All of the many virtuosos
Who contributed to this monument
Are the ones responsible for its beauty
And for all the graffiti written on it

You think about your unheard voice
Just before you flush
And how those who have nothing to say
Are the ones who say too much

But in the restroom things are different
Where a wise man can say his piece
In only one or two prophetic verses
Advice that’s always free

So you clutch your trusty pen
And find an empty space
To write what’s on your mind
In your very own sacred place

And so with one conclusive scribble
You admire what you’ve composed
It fits in so nicely with this mural
Made up of drawings, poems, and prose

You flush with satisfaction
You’ve become a bathroom poet
You’ve had the ability to create beauty
And yet you didn’t even know it

And so every poem and quote
And even the sketches that are obscene
Will remain as art for many centuries
Or until the janitor wipes them clean

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At an early age, Allen Coyle realized that he had absolutely no talent for writing, but decided to pursue it anyway. His hobbies include drinking beer and mooning the alien vessels that hover over his house at night. He also loves to listen to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon and read The Wizard of Oz, though he still doesn't see why people say they sync. He is currently in the market for a life.