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“Biting The Bullet”, by Remington Waters
Posted on October 20th by Defenestration
Get up and go. Now? Yes now. Put on some pants and fly out that door. DO NOT under any circumstance stop to talk to Mrs. Butters. She is a modern day vampire. Those dentures are not for show. They are spring-loaded for ease of biting. When she opens her mouth, she feeds off the time she wastes of others. One two, one two, keep those legs going. Take long strides. For every baby-step you take, believe in fact your foot is crushing a baby – a cute one with blue eyes and curls. Jam your arm into the elevator; do not let them go without you. If you accidentally punch someone, maybe they shouldn’t have had their face there. When you get to the ground floor, make sure no one gets out before you. People like to push and shove to get out first because they are impatient. You don’t have time for those jerks. Zip out the revolving door and either find a cabbie with a treadmill built into the backseat or ...
Bashing Broccoli by Ida Duplantier
A hundred beady eyes of green Look up at me. I'm filled with doubt. I know this stuff is sick and MEAN. I'm hungry but I'll do without. ...
[October 20th by Defenestration]
“Dear Eric”, by Sean Raune
Dear Eric, Frank Sinatra wants to take your ape to the picture show because he has some extra money and he is inclined to do so. ...
[October 20th by Defenestration]
Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One Before by E.K. Mortenson
A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Mullah are on an airplane. Suddenly, the pilot comes over the intercom to ...
[October 20th by Defenestration]
“Taking Sexy Back: Fashion Tips For Crime Fighters from the Law and Order SVU Team”, by Kelly Ferguson
We admit fighting crime is a tough job. Everyday some Park Avenue housewife strangles her plumber with a cock ring. You're tired, you say, and ...
[October 20th by Defenestration]
Dad and I and Not Responsible for Typographical Errors by Gerald So
Dad and I try to talk every morning and end up listening to talk radio Not Responsible For Typographical Errors I took a line out in the paper after Steve left town and got ...
[October 20th by Defenestration]
“Halloween As Usual”, by Andrew Kaye
___________________ Contrary to what you may think, AK is not a state.
[October 20th by Defenestration]
“Counting On You”, by Megan Roth
___________________ Megan Roth is a writer and cartoonist recently transplanted Miami. Her first book, The Green Guide to Daily Living, will be available from Cliff Road ...
[October 20th by Defenestration]
The Need For Vampire Dating Services
[October 19th by Defenestration]
Defenestration: September 2008
Welcome to the September 2008 issue of Defenestration, the only literary magazine to be voted Undisputed King of the Interwebs by almost one-third of our ...
[September 20th by Defenestration]
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