Al Bixby. "Morey Feldman - Private Detective."   

Being a private eye is no bed of roses. You get no respect, you associate with lowlifes, and crazed lunatics are always trying to put a bullet through your Medulla Oblongata. On the plus side, you get to have your name on the door in big letters. 

Julie Britt. "The Love Diet."

On the first day of my diet, I only cheated once. But I sort of made up for it by taking the stairs at work and parking far away from the entrance to J.C. Penney.

Michael Hulme. "Val Kilmer's Revenge." 

Buzzy on beer and wine and beer, I was trying to blast my yellowy jet through the electric blue pisscake.

Jonathan Redhorse. "The War."

The President of the United States loved salt.

Jay Wexler. "What Do You Like Best About Me?"

Vera Salvaggio arrived on time for her 3:30 dentist appointment at the office of Dr. Robert Q. Smolover, DDS. Three hours earlier, after finally succumbing to the throbbing pain in her upper left molar that had been driving her mad for the past week, she decided to find herself a dentist right away, with no delay, on the double, at once, pronto, straight-away, forthwith, tout-de-suite.