David Siegel Bernstein. "Social Market."

He was proud to work at WE CHOOSE—not only was it the second largest corporation in the global marketing cartel, but it was also rated the best place to work by Money Magazine in their June 2032 issue.

Ross Eldridge. "A Bird in the Bus."

His father—they said—had been a transvestite axe-murderer.
    

Jonathan Harper. "Funeral of a Vibrator."

“Dearly beloved, we are here today to bid our final farewells to the dearly departed, Faith Bessie, beloved vibrator and personal savior of our sexually frustrated Mary.”

Ellen Lindquist. "Religious Studies Grad Turns Zookeeper."

The interview below, conducted by Alum Chat intern Peter Peters, is the last in our series, "What Happened to Them? Whither Kakawoolah State Alums?"

Kathleen McGurl. "Bloke's Blog."

Monday - She's cut her hair. There. She says I never notice anything. I noticed her hair, I did, as soon as she walked in.

Elizabeth Ridley. "Maternity Mecca."

Our New York apartment was so small, we stored breakfast under our bed.

Mike Romeling. "My Dear Clarissa."

I smile to myself as I write this, aware of how rare a thing it must be for someone to receive a letter the morning after a one night stand.

J. R. Salling. "The Death of Louis the Fat."