 Anne of Green Gables: The Code
Recently, rereading Anne of Green Gables, I had to stop and ask myself why. The answer was, "Because it was the first thing I grabbed on my way to the subway," but the general idea is that the book is a little weird.
Long the domain of spinsters-in-training, children's literature enthusiasts, and hordes of preteen Japanese schoolgirls, Anne of Green Gables is a classic of literature, and the prototype for all those young adult books where a spunky young woman messes up for 200 pages and then everthing is fine again. However, this genre is hard to translate for the men in your life - your boyfriend, your dad, your priest. They only understand Man Things, like HTML code!
If you've ever wanted to explain why the sight of a redhead with braids makes you scream "KAWAII!" and lunge for a camera, use the handy HTML psuedocode below.
NOTE: I don't know how to write code, so please don't email me and tell me my loop is faulty, because seriously, where would you even implement Anne of Green Gables HTML?
<body>
<name=”Anne” class=”spunky waif” hair color=”red”>
<name =“Marilla” class=”crotchety spinster”>
<name=”Avonlea” class=”small town with endearingly quirky inhabitants”>
<name=”Gilbert” class=”spunky young man” tension=”romantic”>
<variable "wacky situation" = woods, mice, brooches, autumn, schoolhouses, cake, cordial, ipecac, puffed sleeves, early feminism>
<loop = Anne of Green Gables”>
<set counter 11>
<if ”Anne” = less than 15>
then insert=”wacky situation” [involving “overly imaginative absentmindedness”]
introduce item [class = “Avonlea”] for = “opinions”
learn=”lesson”
counter +1>
<if “Anne” = 15>
then insert = “academic ambition”
insert = “Gilbert”
learn = “slightly more mature lesson”>
</body>
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