Prose

“Humor Block: Busted!” by Jon Sindell

Jun 5th, 2019 | By

When a hard-working humorist knuckles down to a grueling session of writing funny stuff, he is frequently confronted with a mortifying emptiness of the brain’s humor center known as “Humor Block.” God only knows how to deal with it—and these are His/Her/Its tips.



“Infant Girl Photo Shoot on Soft-focus Blanket,” by Chloe Yelena Miller

May 29th, 2019 | By

You wanted to see pictures of my infant girl swaddled in soft-focus, white blankets, right? I’ve posted my top fifty outtakes on my Facebook page. I don’t see that you gave the post a heart yet and you probably want to.



“Rock Me Amadeus,” by Alexander Perez

May 22nd, 2019 | By

I went to my first school dance dressed as Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. It was spring of 1985 and Amadeus had just won Best Picture.



“Embracing your dependent personality: The proper vocabulary,” by Mileva Anastasiadou

May 15th, 2019 | By

Try using compound one-word verbs. They prove your point, providing evidence that dependency is not totally wrong and that’s an argument you can’t ignore; two words binding tightly by an unbreakable bond, almost asphyxiating, to make sense. Not even a period in-between. Hyphenation isn’t a problem, as long as they count as one word by all word count applications.



“Cabin Porch Masturbation Will Get You Sent Home Early, and Other Lessons I Hope Jacob Learned at Camp,” by Eli Chanoff

May 8th, 2019 | By

Twelve is a hard age. At twelve you might equally make trouble by stealing a second helping of sugary cereal from the Shabbat morning breakfast buffet or by masturbating in your sleeping bag as your unsuspecting camp counselor leads a guided meditation. Jacob, the worst 12 year old I’ve ever known, showed me this during a three-week session at Camp Watahooga. “Hey bud, it’s not fair if you get more lucky charms when no one else does,” I told Jacob in the morning, and then later, “hey Bud, like we said before, you need to go to the all-gender single-use bathroom if you want to masturbate”–all this in the course of one terribly unrestful shabbat.