Fake Nonfiction

“You Are Cordially Invited to the Open Marriage Ceremony of Darren and Linda Johnson,” by Lydia Oxenham

Jan 16th, 2019 | By

We are gathered here today to open the marriage of Darren and Linda Johnson. Darren and Linda, you’ve been married for 10 years and have three children, but you’re just not feeling the spark. Maybe you never were. And your sex life has been almost nonexistent for the past few years. Just look at Darren… This is not a man who has had sex in a very long time.



“Tucker’s Honky-Taco Will Gladly Donate To Hurricane Relief As Long As You Buy Something From Us” by Ben Hargrave

Jan 9th, 2019 | By

Tucker’s Honky-Taco is a worldwide fast food institution known not just for pioneering the assembly line guacamole production process, but also for being dedicated to social corporate responsibility by committing acts of benevolence when disaster strikes. That’s why when Hurricane Todd ravaged the southeastern seaboard from Piney Bluff, Georgia to Sawgrass, Florida a week ago, killing thousands, displacing millions, and causing billions of dollars in damage, Tucker’s Honky-Taco knew it was our civic duty to donate money to hurricane relief as long as you buy something from us.



“The Skinny on Putting on Skinny Jeans – A 12 Step Program,” By Dan MacIsaac

Jan 2nd, 2019 | By

1. Starve. Be a sizzling super model on a hunger strike. Not a crumb on your tongue. Not a sip past your lips.



“Warning Label,” by Nan Wigington

Dec 19th, 2018 | By

Remove child before folding.



“Failed Ideas Leading To And Resulting From Mount Rushmore,” by Jason Giltner

Dec 12th, 2018 | By

The faces of four United States presidents were carved into the granite face of Mount Rushmore over a 15 year period from1927 to 1941 by Gutzon Borglum and his son Lincoln Borglum. Today, Mount Rushmore is a prominent tourist destination and a staple of American culture.