Fake Nonfiction

“Walter Blanks’ Suitcase,” by Laura Maggio

Dec 9th, 2020 | By

Walter Blanks was the head honcho at Mundayne Insurance Company—until I discovered, one day, that he wasn’t.

Within a week of starting at Mundayne Inc. as a correspondence clerk, I pinpointed Walter Blanks as a man in charge. Although I was fresh out of college and unsure what C-Suite title he held, I did know he was a man to be respected; After all, Mr. Blanks was meticulously well-dressed.

“A Note on This Very Finest Edition of The Collected Poetry of Algernon Theodore Ruthven,” by Rick Kast

Dec 2nd, 2020 | By

In this limited edition of the The Collected Poetry of Algernon Theodore Ruthven you have acquired an example of the very finest techniques and materials available in the making of books today, a fitting tribute to the poetry of this brilliant reclusive poet. 

“Now Hiring,” by Sara Garland

Nov 25th, 2020 | By

Ping Pong Net Re-Stringer: Temp-to-Hire Contract Position—Seeking a self-starter with strong attention to detail and at least 5 years of experience in the ping pong, fishing, and/or shoestring industries to re-string ping pong nets in local tech company breakroom.

“Wholesale Hotdogs,” by J.D. Hager

Nov 18th, 2020 | By

It was the biggest pack of hotdogs he’d ever seen. Unbelievable is what he thought at first. Denial of his sensory input. Following disbelief was disgust, followed again by denial. It couldn’t be, like a conundrum wrapped paradoxically in plastic.

“Personalized Ads, Just for You,” by Ruyi Wen

Nov 11th, 2020 | By

Hi, potential customer! Based on your previous purchase of our LightTouch voice-activated lighting control panel, we thought you might be interested in our new smart home security system, the PrivaSee Cam 3.0. You’ll sleep soundly at night knowing that at the first sign of a package thief, teenaged child sneaking in after curfew, or moth flying too close to the camera, the PrivaSee Cam 3.0 will blast a 110-decibel warning siren to scare off the intruder. Just look at this photo of a model smiling and looking well-rested in the general vicinity of our product. It’s merely a happy coincidence that the model looks like you, but more attractive.