Fake Nonfiction

“The Skinny on Putting on Skinny Jeans – A 12 Step Program,” By Dan MacIsaac

Jan 2nd, 2019 | By

1. Starve. Be a sizzling super model on a hunger strike. Not a crumb on your tongue. Not a sip past your lips.



“Warning Label,” by Nan Wigington

Dec 19th, 2018 | By

Remove child before folding.



“Failed Ideas Leading To And Resulting From Mount Rushmore,” by Jason Giltner

Dec 12th, 2018 | By

The faces of four United States presidents were carved into the granite face of Mount Rushmore over a 15 year period from1927 to 1941 by Gutzon Borglum and his son Lincoln Borglum. Today, Mount Rushmore is a prominent tourist destination and a staple of American culture.



“Alternative Schools for Your Kid That You CAN Afford,” by Lisa Beyer

Dec 5th, 2018 | By

Waldorf Salad School. From tots to teens, they’ll be chopping apples in no time! And did we mention mayonnaise? That squirty lemon thing? Big glass bowl? That’s about it. All day, every day. For a whole fucking year. Until Her Highness gets so tired of salad that she straightens up and goes back to the perfectly good school you moved to the suburbs for in the first place.



“The Hidden Dangers of Leaning,” by Benny Neylon

Nov 21st, 2018 | By

Sitting will kill you. That’s a scientific fact: a new paper in the Lancet shows that every minute spent sitting on the toilet takes as many as seven minutes off your lifespan. Consider that as you hunker down there, peering at your smartphone!