Fake Nonfiction

“The New Yak Tomes Bust Sellers,” by Tom Ukinski

Aug 28th, 2019 | By

1. Game of Phones, by Sprobile Verizatt

2. Don’t They Know It’s All Their Fault?: Cutting the Ballast from America’s Rise, by Malwasse Wright

3. What the Monkey Thought, by Pitter Patterson



“The Time to Act is Not Now,” by Mike Fowler

Aug 14th, 2019 | By

In my recently published article “Don’t Change a Thing, People,” which is nominated for several prizes, I discuss in detail the many reasons why we must put off for now solving the problems that most vex us. The main reason, as I clearly and even eloquently state in “Thing,” is that nothing useful can be done at this time. This simply isn’t the year or even century when the most pressing issues facing mankind can be resolved either entirely or in part. Time is fleeting, and in large part has fled quite a ways distant from us, to another galaxy. The time we should have spent getting things under control is now hovering around in space somewhere, lost to us forever.



“Pastey the Drunken Sailor,” by Kate LaDew

Jul 24th, 2019 | By

Pastey the Drunken Sailor. Boy was he. True to his name, a ship did not pass without holding Pastey in a state of ridiculous inebriation. It was common to feel a whip of breeze over one’s head as Pastey swung from ship to ship, determined to be drunken on any and all.



“How I Quit My Six-Figure Job to Become an Instagram Influencer,” by Hannah Lawrence

Jul 17th, 2019 | By

Food? Water?? Shelter?! Sure you may need these things to survive, but since when has surviving made you cool?



“Totally Dank Meme Ideas For My Tumblr (it’s pretty much viral or bust for me now),” by Simon Pinkerton

Jul 10th, 2019 | By

When you realise your day job isn’t fulfilling OR well paid

Pic label: WELL THIS IS AWKWARD

Pic: Two hot women arriving at a party in the same dress, looking at each other with those sideways-mouth faces, there’ll definitely be something like this out there