Fake Nonfiction

“What Should I Wear to the Revolution?” by Abigail King

Jan 8th, 2020 | By

There will be no Revolution, man.  The world has already ended twice, once at the invention of the steam engine then again with the A-Bomb.  All that follows will simply be the unfolding of the inevitable consequences of our shitty behavior.



“Exclamation Mark Retires: An Interview,” by R.D. Ronstad

Jan 1st, 2020 | By

Voiceover: Today on a special edition of the Chet Chatterton Show on RealNews Radio, we present an exclusive interview with Exclamation Mark, here to discuss the shocking news, reported on air by RealNews Radio yesterday morning, that Exclamation Mark is withdrawing from public service, ending a career spanning more than 500 years. We join Chet and Exclamation Mark in the studio.



“#SorryAboutTheLengthOfThisHashtag,” by Luke Roloff

Dec 18th, 2019 | By

#SorryAboutTheLengthOfThisHashtagButJustWantedToCoverMyBasesWithAsManyAudiencesAsHumanlyPossible



“The Perfect Open Mic,” by Casey “Rocket” Rohlen

Dec 4th, 2019 | By

Open mics are to self-help what Columbine was to school spirit: A step in the wrong direction.

Big laugh. Meta as hell. Enough time has passed to where it works. Crowd loves it. They carry me out of there like Rudy.



“How to Become Marriage Material,” by Sheyda Demooei

Nov 27th, 2019 | By

You’re a single woman over the age of 25 with an unnatural desire for independence. Words such as shriveled, aging uterus, and embryo cryopreservation are appearing more frequently in your family’s daily conversation. You often feel guilty for not having produced a grandchild to brighten up your parent’s monotonous post-retirement life. You’ve powered through a series of bad dates to find your ideal partner only to be abruptly abandoned two years later with a casual “I don’t know what’s wrong but something doesn’t feel right” as a reason.