Prose

“In Your Face,” by Bob Lorentson

Sep 16th, 2020 | By

I can barely stand to say this, much less write about it, but I think it’s fair to warn you that our faces are infested with mites. There, I said it. I stumbled across this unnerving information in the reputable magazine where I read it, and thought it my duty to pass it along.



“Flannery O’Connor, Instagram Influencer,” by Laura K. LaGrone

Sep 9th, 2020 | By

therealflannyo25 The baby looked thataway at birth, weren’t nothin’ nobody coulda ferseen or helped. All the same, he had a sweet smell to him on account of the Johnson’s ™ talcum powder. #evenuglybabiesneedlove therealflannyo25 The Curel™ lanolin might’ve helped, if the gangrene hadn’t settled itself in like a cat on a window seat. #warinjuries therealflannyo25

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“Class Action Notice for Users of the ‘Sketch-a-Flesh’ Brand Bioprinter,” by John McLaughlin

Sep 2nd, 2020 | By

If you purchased a “Sketch-a-Flesh” brand bioprinter (ViviGen, Inc.) between 2043 and 2045, you may be entitled to financial compensation!



“Confessions of a Prude,” by Stacey Tol

Aug 26th, 2020 | By

I am a prude. Or, at the very least, I am prude adjacent with a healthy aversion to public nudity—especially my own. I became aware that this squeamishness wasn’t universally shared during my first trip abroad. Fresh out of our teen years, my newly minted husband and I crossed the Atlantic to spend our honeymoon on the Grecian island of Corfu. As our airport taxi wound through the narrow streets of the city, it was hard not to notice the abundance of billboards splashed with topless women. They were a none too subtle reminder of the theme of the coming night. I couldn’t help but feel the pressure of making it the most romantic and memorable experience of our virginal lives.



“An Unopened Letter to Shirley,” by Raymond Lane

Aug 20th, 2020 | By

I hope that this letter finds you well. My apologies for using such an archaic form of communication, but as you know Earth has yet to join the intergalactic web.