It’s A Lifestyle A dear friend was missing two Netflix movies, she looked everywhere on the computer table the television stand bookshelves cutting table, sorted through stacks of books magazines papers fabric, finally gave up in despair, wondering what the replacement cost would be, she told me all about it at lunch, later that day [...]
I go to therapy wearing my green and white military tank top that says: “my bush would make a better president.” My therapist sits in a modest desk chair and I slide into a black leather recliner. It’s a nouveau version of the therapy couch. Sweat gathers behind my knees, itching and sticking against the [...]
WOLF RESPONDS TO REVIEWS OF AN OFF-BROADWAY PRODUCTION OF RED RIDING HOOD It’s ridiculous, an actor of my stature appearing off-Broadway, but they lost their lead- mugging or something-just prior to opening. My name lends credence to a new company, new production. We do that in theater. My name is synonymous with the role, you [...]
Finally, Hope Lonely and wishing for a miracle, it finally came in the form of an e-mail from a 24-year-old woman with 8.5 million dollars who offered to move in with me if I would help her transfer the funds to this country, and all I had to do to get the money and the [...]
I kept the address labels. The nickel, too. The night of the day I used the first label, I dreamed of starving orphaned children with distended stomachs. They told me I should have sent the nickel back, along with a generous check and a stamp to save the charity the cost of postage. I ignored the [...]
Fireworks I ended it on the fourth of July But still she cried and threw things at me. That’s the trouble with American girls: They don’t ‘do’ Irony. Thunder If I’m lying, she said, may the ground open up and swallow me. And as the words left her lips a sound like thunder filled the [...]
How I love guacamole salad this murky mucky marvel to eat is to imbibe Great green gobs of avocado add onions to create a dubious delight Admittedly it is the ugliest of foods in name and in appearance The ignorant may hesitate to part their lips and give it clearance But those who know will [...]
I handed in my notice at work today and the guy didn’t even bother to read it– just folded it and place it in his shirt pocket like an unwanted receipt. told everyone I was leaving to become a poet a superhero a spy a nazi– nobody blinked. then marie walks in asks what happened [...]
Bachelor Bisazza should not spend a penny on fixing his Disturbed Mother with grisly treatments: just one $500 Freedom voucher would clean her up for days. Look how she whips this poor boy of hers up to a level of apathy so bad he is committed. His mother is the first step to happiness in [...]
Cousin Paul has his spleen out. He gets transfusions as often as I get pistachio milkshakes. Every Christmas, he comes poorer and sicker and angrier. The rivers of veins swell close to the surface, especially near his right temple. His nostrils are permanently flared. I don’t know if these are symptoms. Every Christmas he’s a [...]