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Defenestration: April 2014

Apr 20th, 2014 | By

So. Here were are at last.

It’s time for the April 2014 issue of Defenestration, everyone! Last year Eileen and I took a break from the magazine to rest our fragile bodies and minds. Three months in a chemical bath and several cybernetic upgrades later, we reopened Defenestration to submissions and got back to work. The response was truly humbling. We started getting submissions immediately–and so many were awesome that we ended up holding on to more for consideration than we ever had before. That made choosing the content for this issue a little more difficult than usual, but Eileen and I are professionals and know how to handle these sorts of things. (We never resort to violence, unless that doesn’t work and we’re forced to resort to violence.



Defenestration: August 2013

Aug 20th, 2013 | By

Ten years, you guys. This October, Defenestration will be ten years old!

Have any of you ever read slush? Have you ever read slush for ten years straight? After so long a time, Eileen’s lucky to still have her sanity, and I’m lucky to still have my sanity and my rakish good looks. But the slush is wearing us down, and we’re quickly becoming editors on the edge. We don’t sleep well. We don’t eat well. Our nerves have been rubbed raw. I have literally—literally—seen Eileen turn into a Tyrannosaurus over seemingly insignificant things. The other day she almost leveled an IHOP after finding an uneven distribution of blueberries in her blueberry pancakes. This sort of destruction cannot continue no matter how awesome and no matter how many views the resulting videos on YouTube attain.



Defenestration: April 2013

Apr 20th, 2013 | By

I’ve had a busy, busy couple of weeks. So busy, in fact, that I was having trouble coming up with something to write about for my editorial this month. Eileen suggested I write about pie, but this year also marks Defenestration’s TENTH volume. So in place of an editorial, here’s a list of ten pies…



Defenestration: December 2012

Dec 20th, 2012 | By

Welcome to December 2012, travelers!

I’ll jump right into this editorial biz: I love it when a submission stick with me.

After the initial read, the hold request, the dozens of other submissions that come and go… it’s nice to reach the end of the reading period and vividly remember the stuff I held onto. Take, for example, Addison Clift’s “The Passenger.” That was one of the first stories we added to the pending pile, way back in early September. But when the reading period closed, I knew I wanted it in this issue. I remembered it. More than that–every time I stepped into a subway car, I though about it, as if any moment a fellow commuter would shed his skin and devour the other passengers. (This was especially true when a crazy guy boarded the train and started talking about how he was President Obama’s brother and how Dr. King “never took shit from no one,” and then had a long discourse with an invisible friend that involved the Kennedy assassination and several unkind comments about women. “Phara Koltana I am your vessel!” wasn’t far off.)



Defenestration: August 2012

Aug 20th, 2012 | By

Hello there, friends (and probably relatives), welcome to the August 2012 issue of Defenestration!

You’ll no doubt notice that this issue is short. Not short on content: we have five short stories and seven poems for you to enjoy this month. However, each of the short stories are flash fiction pieces. We didn’t really plan it out that way, but I don’t think you’ll mind. Characters included this month include a lovesick pharmacist, a digital daughter, a naked revolutionary, and a disillusioned science fiction writer. See for yourself! All the stories and poems can be found in the links below, or read together in the downloadable PDF copy.

I should add that this month’s issue contains strong language and sexual themes. That will probably just make you want to read it more, but I figured I should warn you all the same, so you’re not shocked and embarrassed. I can see you blushing already. Good. Get it out of your system now.



Defenestration: April 2012

Apr 20th, 2012 | By

Good morning or afternoon or evening or whatever. Welcome to the April 2012 issue of Defenestration, by far the greatest issue of Defenestration I’ve had the pleasure to publish in April 2012!

Since Defenestration isn’t a particularly large operation, Eileen and I act as both editors and slush readers. It’s an interesting experience. We get to see everything, absolutely everything, that pops into the in-box, without anyone filtering the content. We get to see the great, and the not-so-great, and the downright bizarre.

“Bizarre?” I hear you cry. “But you’re a humor magazine!”

Well, sirs and madams, when I say bizarre, I mean bizarre. And if you’ve ever read slush for a magazine, you know exactly what I mean.



Defenestration: December 2011

Dec 20th, 2011 | By

So. Here we are at last. You, me, maybe some snow, and this: the December 2011 issue of Defenestration. It smells like pine needles and pinecones and pine-scented floor cleaners. Very piney. Pinish? That sounds awful. But the smell? Ridiculishious.

You might be thinking, “This is a winter issue,” which is true if you don’t live in like, Australia, where everyone is wearing bathing suits and taking photos of themselves in bathing suits and them uploading them to [insert social networking site here] so all their American friends (they don’t have any other friends) can feel sad about everything. That’s a very Australian thing to do, I’ve heard. Anyway. You might be thinking “This is a winter issue,” which is true, only not really. In fact that’s wrong. Totally wrong. Nothing in this issue has anything to do with winter. In fact, if we were going to choose a theme for this issue, it would be poop.



Defenestration: April 2011

Apr 20th, 2011 | By

Welcome to the April 2011 issue of Defenestration!

You could call this the “Five by Five” issue. That’s not a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reference, but it could be, because back then vampires were cool. No, it refers to the layout for this issue. This time around, we’ve published the work of five short story writers and five poets. If symmetry delights you, then the table of contents alone will be enough to entertain you for hours.

Of course, there’s more to this issue than its table of contents (which is pretty great). We have monkeys and sex and Andy Garcia. We also have a story about a ham sandwich—I daresay it’s the greatest story about a ham sandwich that’s ever been published. And that’s only scratching the surface. This issue features a lot of new faces and a couple of familiar ones. I hope you like it as much as Bigfoot does.



Defenestration: December 2010

Dec 20th, 2010 | By

The December 2010 issue Defenestration is here. And by “here,” I literally mean here. As in right here. Or at least several lines below here, which is just as good. Or so I’m told.

This holiday season (Christmas, Hanukah or one of its various alternate spellings, Kwanzaa, Festivus, the 13th Feast of Shub Niggurath, Saint Radagast’s Day, and so on), give your friends and family the gift of Defenestration. This month’s issue is so good that you will feel compelled to print it off, wrap it up in fancy paper, and give it to everyone you know. Because the best kind of gift is the kind that’s easy on your wallet, and Defenestration is free, free, free.



Defenestration: August 2010

Aug 20th, 2010 | By

Welcome, one and all, to the August 2010 issue of Defenestration!

Prepare yourselves. Prepare to fall in love with hilarity. Because it’s here, on every digital page. That’s how we roll here at Defenestration. This issue’s offerings are pretty hefty: four of the short stories this time around are well over 2,000 words, and two of those go beyond 3,000. After this read, you’ll be able to pat your belly with contentment. (Or whatever other body part you tap when you’re content. I won’t ask. I’m generally a polite guy.)