Eileen: This is Your Brain On…

Your Sensitive Dreamboat

Oct 5th, 2010 | By

There is nothing sexier than a bad boy, like Gambit or Willy Wonka as played by Gene Wilder. But sometimes you want a man who doesn’t believe all of the world’s problems can be solved by pointing to his crotch. Sometimes all of us just want a dude who will make us soup and give

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Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy: How to Score like a Literary Hero/Anti-Hero

Jul 8th, 2010 | By

Awww yeah, guys and girls! Who doesn’t want to become luckier with the opposite sex (Answer: nuns)?  Listen, we all want to love and be loved (while avoiding a plethora of venereal diseases). But it’s tough out there! And many of us have, more often than not, failed in scoring our crotch’s desire. You’ve probably

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A Good Rochestering: Haikus for Jane Eyre’s Main Squeeze

Jun 10th, 2010 | By

There are two things you can count on in this world: 1) Ryan Reynolds will never return my phone calls, no matter how many different ways I disguise my voice. 2) The film/TV studios believe that the canon of literature contains only:  Jane Austen, Henry James, Dickens, a smattering of Mark Twain, a dash of

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Judging Your Jerk: The Thomas Hardy Method

May 14th, 2010 | By

We all have a special jerk in our lives. It could be your sibling, your significant other, a parent, a friend, a co-worker or your brother’s neighbor’s cousin’s sister-in-law’s wife. A jerk like this is hard to shake, so you’ve learned to accept, even love your jerk for the stupid-face she/he is (at least until

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Burn your Retinas, Soothe Your Ears: Terrible Movies with Great Music

Apr 5th, 2010 | By

Have you ever met someone super hot, or something super hot (what up, objectum-sexuals!), and thought to yourself “I know as soon as you speak you’re going to ruin this beautiful picture you’ve presented, because you’re probably super into politics, or clog dancing and Warren Beatty, or misogynistic film plots with needless explosions and women

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