Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.

George Lucas and His Green Screen of Death

Mar 23rd, 2010 | By

If the movie Avatar was so awesome, then why didn’t it win the Best Picture Oscar? I’ll admit it.  No, I did not bother seeing Avatar.  I know, I know – I’m usually a firm believer in the rule: if you don’t see it/read it/experience it, you shouldn’t judge it.  Usually.  But there are special cases when this rule

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Dinner with Napalm

Feb 23rd, 2010 | By

How would I go about throwing a fancy dinner party for upwards of 50 guests? Stage One: Denial What?  Fifty people didn’t really respond to the Evite.  It’s not like they all don’t know you live in a two-bedroom apartment. They don’t expect you to cook anything – you have an abortion for a kitchen,

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Beware of WOW Players Bearing Baby Organs

Jan 26th, 2010 | By

Are children getting dumber or am I getting smarter? I may not be the best person to answer this. Last time I had a babysitting job, I was almost inspired to start a career directing snuff films. And let’s face it, kids are really fucking stupid. They spend the first few years of their life

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