Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.

Fashion is a Scary Monster

Jul 25th, 2011 | By

Dear Jonathan, I’m a slave to fashion, and I like your beard. I’d like some tips on the latest looks and trends. ———- Well, take one look at me and know that I am not one for fashion. I’m of the “drawstring pants over flip flops look” and tend to show up at fancy restaurants

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Potty Mouths and LensCrafters

May 24th, 2011 | By

Dear Jonathan: You seem righteous and well-read. What’s your opinion on the whole “de-funding Planned Parenthood” debacle that was playing out in the news recently? On April 15th, 2011, the Washington Post’s Opinion Section had a fantastic article by Clare Coleman in regards to the five myths about Planned Parenthood. This was in response to

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Mother, May I Throttle You?

Mar 31st, 2011 | By

Jonathan, I’m getting married in two months and my fiancee’s mother is driving me crazy! He suggests we both lay low, but there must be something I can do to make this more bearable. Help? —— Hooray! Gay wedding season! But, here’s the one problem with achievements in gay equality and gay marriage – you

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All The Colors Of My Butt (Leave Me Alone, Disney!)

Feb 28th, 2011 | By

I am really disappointed “Tangled” wasn’t nominated for the “Best Animated Feature” category. Why was Disney gypped? I’m just gonna come out and say it: I hate Disney films. Now, I’m willing to admit that I might hate them for the wrong reasons. This has nothing to do with all the onslaught of straight-to-DVD films.

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Slash in the Pan: Where Copyright Infringement and Sensuality Bang

Jan 25th, 2011 | By

Am I just getting older or is Slash Fiction just getting lazier? So, for those of you who are not familiar with slash fiction, this is erotic fan fiction with a man-on-man angle. And I kind of missed the whole slash phenomenon, though I had some friends were big fanatics about it. My friend, Meredith,

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Are You There, God? It’s me, Mario

Nov 30th, 2010 | By

The holidays are coming up and I’m looking for a gift that my boyfriend and I can enjoy together.  Any suggestions? It just so happens that this cross-genre revolution is making more and more opportunities to bridge those gaps of interest between friends and lovers. She likes social-norms challenging literature with a feminist perspective and

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What You Need To Know About PPS

Oct 26th, 2010 | By

Is playing volleyball acceptable for men? My friend used to make fun of me because I did spinning classes every now and then and he called me “girly” so I decided to make fun of him because he played rec volleyball. I consider volleyball a girl’s sport, like synchronized swimming. I do girly athletic things

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Cow Farts Are Good For You

Sep 27th, 2010 | By

I want to know what exactly is a vegan? That’s a good question because there’s actually very little non-bias documentation of the vegan condition. I’ll admit it, whenever I hear the word “vegan,” I instinctively have happy thoughts of fluffy sheep and drumming circles and picnics and lesbian bookstores. And sweet potato fries … But

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Tom Colicchio with a Side of Artichoke Hearts

Jul 27th, 2010 | By

Top Chef is taking place in DC this year – since that’s your backyard, have you been following it closely and who do you think should win? You are absolutely correct to think that this season’s Top Chef being set in Washington D.C. is simply orgasmic because eventually we’ll get to see head-judge and co-host,

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MFA in Make Believe

May 27th, 2010 | By

Jonathan, what does one actually do with an MFA in Creative Writing?   That’s right, bitches!  In case you all didn’t hear, I finally graduated with an MFA, a master’s degree in the delicate art of making shit up. Of course, this is usually a wonderful topic at parties.  Once an MFAer is identified, everyone

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