Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.
Ponycidal Christmas
Dear Jonathan, I’m still pissed off I didn’t get an iPad for Christmas. What are some things you wanted for Christmas that your parents didn’t get you because they were bastards? There were three things I consistently asked for Christmas when I was growing up: a good book, a pony and a cape. I [...]
Roman Holiday Boxing
Dear Jonathan, I just saw Tallafornia. Any suggests on what I can watch now in order to avoid night terrors? ———————– Two things you should know about me. #1 – I love British television series, especially historical dramas. #2 – I have an unhealthy infatuation with evil bitchy women in power. So this would explain [...]
“Blek,” Said The Lesbian
Last month’s column got me thinking about the many books I wasn’t allowed to read growing up. There were actually quite a few – my mother was of the prude and prejudice type. Anyway, here’s a small list of some wandering book covers and the secrets they hold that I can only dream of…
Azure Bonds: Part One Of The Nether Regions Trilogy
Dear Jonathan, With the Lion King being so big at the box office, I’ve become sort of nostalgic for my childhood years. What films or books were you reading as a kid? ——- “And upon waking up from her great slumber did Alias, which was really her name and not a teaser, discovered [...]
Fashion is a Scary Monster
Dear Jonathan, I’m a slave to fashion, and I like your beard. I’d like some tips on the latest looks and trends. ———- Well, take one look at me and know that I am not one for fashion. I’m of the “drawstring pants over flip flops look” and tend to show up at fancy restaurants [...]
Potty Mouths and LensCrafters
Dear Jonathan: You seem righteous and well-read. What’s your opinion on the whole “de-funding Planned Parenthood” debacle that was playing out in the news recently? On April 15th, 2011, the Washington Post’s Opinion Section had a fantastic article by Clare Coleman in regards to the five myths about Planned Parenthood. This was in response to [...]
Mother, May I Throttle You?
Jonathan, I’m getting married in two months and my fiancee’s mother is driving me crazy! He suggests we both lay low, but there must be something I can do to make this more bearable. Help? —— Hooray! Gay wedding season! But, here’s the one problem with achievements in gay equality and gay marriage – you [...]
All The Colors Of My Butt (Leave Me Alone, Disney!)
I am really disappointed “Tangled” wasn’t nominated for the “Best Animated Feature” category. Why was Disney gypped? I’m just gonna come out and say it: I hate Disney films. Now, I’m willing to admit that I might hate them for the wrong reasons. This has nothing to do with all the onslaught of straight-to-DVD films. [...]
Slash in the Pan: Where Copyright Infringement and Sensuality Bang
Am I just getting older or is Slash Fiction just getting lazier? So, for those of you who are not familiar with slash fiction, this is erotic fan fiction with a man-on-man angle. And I kind of missed the whole slash phenomenon, though I had some friends were big fanatics about it. My friend, Meredith, [...]
Are You There, God? It’s me, Mario
The holidays are coming up and I’m looking for a gift that my boyfriend and I can enjoy together. Any suggestions? It just so happens that this cross-genre revolution is making more and more opportunities to bridge those gaps of interest between friends and lovers. She likes social-norms challenging literature with a feminist perspective and [...]
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