Jonathan: Mysteries Answered!… and Stuff.

Defenestration’s Schedule of Classes

Oct 17th, 2016 | By

We here at the Defenestration Inner Council want to let you youngins know that we believe you are unique individuals with so much potential ahead of you. Alas, as we discovered ourselves, the world does not agree. Prepare to be categorized and labeled (oftentimes inappropriately) for the rest of your lives!



Merry Christmas, Crazies! (A Serious Myers–Briggs Study)

Dec 21st, 2015 | By

After careful analysis, I am able to gift you all with an assessment of your own Christmas holiday behavior based on your Meyers-Briggs personality type.



Please Love Me, Mary Gaitskill

Jul 13th, 2015 | By

I met Mary Gaitskill once, and only once, which stands to be one of the most memorable and embarrassing evenings of my life.



Fair Trade The HARD Way (Not Really)

Mar 23rd, 2015 | By

Hope does not taste good. I guess coffee is best when it is bitter and brewed with human suffering and unfairness.



D&D Soup at 165 Eaton Place

Dec 18th, 2014 | By

What could a classic British TV series like Upstairs Downstairs and Dungeons & Dragons have in common?



Dangerous Hipster Boys in Trouble (Or Not)

Sep 29th, 2014 | By

Defenestration Magazine is proud to announce the forthcoming publication of columnist Jonathan Harper’s debut collection of short stories in March 2015 … we think.



Recipes for your Literary Dinner Party

May 27th, 2014 | By

1st Course: Hors D’oeurve   Wells Tower’s Salmon Cutlets, Ravaged and Burned Ingredients:  1 salmon filet, 2 tablespoons olive oil, 2 cloves garlic, fresh dill, 2 lemons, salt, male angst, Viking helmet Put on your Viking helmet. Savagely cut salmon filet into long strips and then mercilessly mince garlic cloves and shred dill. Adjust your

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It’s Hard Out Here for Graduate Admissions

Mar 30th, 2014 | By

So, as another application season comes to a close, I take this moment to reflect upon my chosen career path. You see, I have an MFA in Creative Writing, which apart from allowing me to wrestle with this strange need to write fiction, has propelled me in the exciting career world of college administration. But

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Me + You = Tattoo

Jan 28th, 2014 | By

Well after a long hiatus, it’s nice to be back…in the Defenestration vault…strapped to this computer desk … ball and chain attached to my ankle…not allowed to leave…ever. YAY! Eileen promised me cupcakes. Anyway, it’s that dreadful time of year where we’re all expected to make due on those pesky little New Year’s resolutions.



Jonathan’s Bike Adventure

Jul 30th, 2013 | By

Every weekend, I go to my favorite coffee shop for writing time. I hate driving there – it’s only two miles and comes with a residual guilt of being lazy, wasting gas and adding to our carbon footprint. Still, two miles is a long walk and time consuming because of all the major roads.

So I bought a bike. I figured this was a fantastic solution – I checked online and it should only take about fifteen minutes to bike up. There’s no pollution involved and this would be an excellent source of exercise. Needless to say, I was thrilled with my decision and was looking forward to incorporating this bike ride into my writing schedule.