Genevieve: Ubiquitous Film Review
Abridged Classics: Pathfinder
So, I while ago, I made an Abridged Classic for Pathfinder, an appalling example of racism in cinema, and also an appalling example of cinema. And man, there was plenty to show you. Especially because writing about this movie just doesn’t do it justice. It’s one thing to write, “The Native American characters are useless.” [...]
Abridged Classics: Lorna Doone
If there is one thing I love in this world, one thing it’s impossible to ruin, it is a period piece that brings together a talented cast. It’s a chance to discover the next big thing; a chance to enjoy those who have been chosen to work together because they’re at the top of their [...]
Abridged Classics: Pathfinder
Everyone loves a good yarn about Vikings and inexplicably childlike Native Americans and eyeballs flying all over the place, right? Remember that time Vikings almost wiped out all the Native Americans, except that other Viking was there to save them, even though he had been adopted by them and then outcast for no reason? Oh, [...]
“Il Fantasma dell’Opera”: no, seriously.
Girl alert – I loved A Room with a View. It’s the lemon-frosted cupcake of film; what’s not to like? And of course I crushed out on George Emerson, just like any other girl who sat at home on Friday nights in high school clutching her life-size Jane Austen pillow and sighing over a guy [...]
Abridged Classics: “Becoming Jane”
Wherein I slog through two hours of retrofitted history so you don’t have to.
CAN YOU DIG IT?
So, sometimes people ask me “What do you like in a story?” or they ask me “What’s your favorite movie?” or they ask me “How did you get to be so disturbed?” The answer to all of those is probably The Warriors. With most of my favorite movies you can say, “That movie sort of [...]
“Anne of Green Gables”: The Code
Recently, rereading Anne of Green Gables, I had to stop and ask myself why. The answer was, “Because it was the first thing I grabbed on my way to the subway,” but the general idea is that the book is a little weird. Long the domain of spinsters-in-training, children’s literature enthusiasts, and hordes of preteen [...]
Abridged Classics: “The Tudors”
Like any costume geek, I’m watching The Tudors on Showtime. But, despite the costuming, there’s something a little…different about this Henry VIII. And by “different”, I mean “flaming”.
“Eragon”: An Epic Mad Lib
Well, gentle readers, recently that _________, ________ fantasy movie Eragon was released. Rather than go see the film, I thought I would leave you with a clichéd fantasy movie summary with blanks you can fill in yourself. It’s what the filmmakers did, and I don’t know why I should put in more effort than they [...]
“The Prestige”: Dicktacular.
DISCLAIMER: Okay, so, The Prestige is the best movie of the year, and everything here is the world’s biggest spoiler. If there were any more spoilers, it would be a road race. There’s a lot of run-of-the-mill dickery in movies; assfaces have pushes forward movie plots from Birth of a Nation (awkwaaard) to Silence of [...]
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