Defenestration

Bag of Boners Part Two: Pierce Breaks More Shit

Bag of Bones continues! Big band music! Interpretation of small town citizens as idiots! More gratuitous scenes of drowning little girls! Let me tell you, you’re in good hands. I have lots of experience drowning things, specifically my Glamor Barbie. What a whorelet. When we left Pierce Noonan, he was experiencing a day of terror. [...]

Bag of Boners Part One: Let’s Get Clickety-Clacking

Bag of Bones is a glorious hodgepodge of scene chewing, nonsensical dialogue and a plot that was sunk into a cavern full of foot cheese. It’s like A&E needed an idea, snorted some paint and stumbled into its hand carved bookcase, knocking Stephen King’s award-winning Bag of Bones right onto its jeweled talons (all television [...]

Amish, May I Sleep With Danger?

“Levi? What happened? Is the barn ablaze?” Excerpt from Plain Fear: Forsaken: A Novel Americans are intrigued by insular cultures. I have a staunch belief that it’s not because they “look different” or act in ways our general population doesn’t act, but because these cultures ignore us and we don’t know why. “HELLO, AMISH? IT’S [...]

Turns of the Screws

Happy Halloween, everyone! Okay, it’s not Halloween yet, but for me, every day in October is Halloween, which is why I’m dressed up as Eric Draven from The Crow. (Tomorrow I’m Barney.) What can I say, this is my favorite time of the year, and I often spend the month celebrating by partaking in spooky [...]

Book Blurbs for Your Great American Novel

Book blurbs are as old as I am (14th century), and have become part of a marketing strategy for an author to establish him/herself by utilizing the praise of demigod writers like Neil Gaiman or ThatGuyWhoLikesRunOnSentences (Hint: It’s William Faulkner and he’s dead). A phrase of praise from a well-respected author like Connie Willis or [...]

Ray Stevenson: Happy Birthday, Jonathan

Jonathan Harper was born in a manger in a secret corridor of a local Denny’s. An orphan at the age of three, Jonathan sustained himself on nuts and the complete Angela Carter collection. He was soon adopted by a benefactress named Judi Dench, and lived with her on a lush country estate with her adopted [...]

Let’s Hear It For The Ladies, All My Pre-Victorian & Victorian Ladies

Period pieces. They seem to be everywhere these days: BBC, ITV, AMC, HBO, HWC[1] . Modern writers like Sarah Waters and Michel Faber have had their Victorian era novels adapted to television, Upstairs Downstairs was re-launched, and a series written by Julian Fellowes has found a wealth of success (DOWNTON ABBEY!!! DOWNTON ABBEY!!! HAVE YOU [...]

Book Vomit: Cleanup on Aisle Seven

With Borders being closed, one has to wonder “Where will I get my book-fix?” Sure, there is Barnes & Nobles, which promises to offer five-thousand different copies of Anna Karinina (ooo, do I want the Classic Series, the Mid-Classic Series or the Semi-Classic Series?!), or Amazon.com, which is known for wonderful “How To” guides, but [...]

This List!: What I’d Like To Read In 2011

Last month, I discussed what I would not like to read in the (relatively) new year. This month, I’d like to share the books I’m most looking forward to reading in 2011, that are totally not imaginary. Look for them in a bookstore totally not near you! Why I’m Gross by Roman Polanski, Foreword by [...]

Diss List: What I Don’t Want To Read in 2011