Another Christmas has come and gone, and, much like everyone in my life who I thought loved me, has left me, leaving me an even more bitter and cynical man than I was the year before. There are certain things I’ll just never understand about the whole Christmas phenomenon; I get the history of it,

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Dear FedEx Field Parking Attendant (or whatever nonsensical title they made up to make you feel good about yourself): On October 17th, a group of friends and I headed down to FedEx Field before the Redskins/Colts game to partake in a little tailgating, as most attending football games do. We arrived fairly early, and proceeded

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Being able to make efficient use of my time and energy (or being lazy, whichever), I’m not fond of doing anything that involves: A) Me leaving my cave, B) Having to expend any extra energy on my part. So, when I do have to venture into the outside world, I have a set list of

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Football (REAL football, not this soccer nonsense), a sport enjoyed by Americans the world over. A game where it’s not only allowed, but encouraged to knock the crap out of people much smaller than you. A sport that has a holiday dedicated to it, where the main course consists of various meats covered with various

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httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlbV-NPT56s Maybe I missed something, but is it written somewhere that when I’m not satisfied with the most insignificant of things, that I’m allowed to become an outright prick? I mean, if it is, I’d like to have this document sent to me so I can create a laminated card containing the specific section, hang

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Greetings viewers! Yes, I realize that this is indeed in print, so I should’ve addressed you as readers, but I figured you’d more than likely stick around to read this journalistic masterpiece to judge me for my apparent “botched” opening, but alas, I have tricked you. Now that you’ve taken the bait, you have no choice

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