Chris: Encyclopedia Douchebag… ica

…and an Inch to Grow On

May 21st, 2015 | By

For our entire lives, birthdays have been dedicated to our own happiness and fulfillment. We’re being celebrated for an act we had no part in and are rewarded for simply falling out of a vagina.



If Only Life Were Written By Ricky Gervais

Feb 23rd, 2015 | By

It appears that no matter how old we get, and what road of life we’ve decided to travel, a lot of people can’t shake off the shitty personalities they exhibited in high school. The only difference between then and now: getting into fisticuffs results in getting fired rather than a few days suspension. Oh, and lawsuits.



Mute’s Got It Made…

Nov 17th, 2014 | By

Being around people is exhausting. Not from the traditional introverted POV of “straining to think of ways to be friendly” but more of “I’m trying really hard to not tell you to ‘fuck off’ as that’s not appropriate for work/school/church.”



Now is the Summer of My Discontent

Jun 23rd, 2014 | By

Here in the Washington DC area we had a fairly harsh winter: bone-chilling temperatures, harsh winds, and a couple feet of snow. Folks started to get cabin fever and began wishing for warmer weather to return. They wanted to lounge by some body of water, followed by a cookout with family and friends and ending

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Should’ve Listened to Geoffrey

May 19th, 2014 | By

Adulthood is that monster under your bed you were scared of as a kid, and your only defense was pulling the sheets up over your head, only now the “sheets” are–well, still sheets, as staying in bed all day is amazing and the threat of eviction isn’t that intimidating.