Chris: Encyclopedia Douchebag… ica

King Toadstool: Portrait of a Tyrant

Feb 5th, 2017 | By

Koopa Kingdom isn’t an aggressive nation who wishes to destabilize the status quo because “that’s what bad guys do.” In fact, they’re a fledgling resistance, seeking to free all citizens of the world from under the iron fist of King Toadstool.



Can’t Spell “Summer” Without “Hatred”

Jul 27th, 2016 | By

After a bitter cold Winter, and inexplicably dry Spring, Summer has made its return to the Mid-Atlantic region, otherwise known as America’s sweaty armpit.



Scuttling the S.S. Friendship

May 3rd, 2016 | By

There’s going to come a point where you may need to cut someone from your life. Unless of course you’re keeping someone around as a walking container of compatible organs.



Tis-the-Season-for-Maiming

Dec 14th, 2015 | By

The holidays are like communism. It’s a great idea on paper, then people get introduced to the system, and then everything goes to shit.



Sloth and Gluttony are My Homeboys

Oct 1st, 2015 | By

Let’s be honest with ourselves, life is really only worth living between the ages of six and sixty, after that we’re in bonus levels.