Alison: Notes From the Cube
Commute to Oblivion
If you’re like me, you must daydream on your ride to work that this will be the day in which your vehicle of transportation will be hit by an ice cream truck, resulting in a nice day off and melted snow cones for everyone. But that’ll never happen. So you busy yourself with more mundane [...]
Sexual Harassment Is Where It’s At!
Summer brings many things: mix CDs from Eileen, chafing of over-waxed bikini zones, terribly blotchy fake tans, and fiscal year-end corporate trainings. With such enjoyable seasonal on-goings, you may wonder how can Alison complain? The answer: fiscal year-end corporate trainings that don’t respect the time needed to nurse waxing wounds and buff away unsightly fake [...]
Ramblings of a Peon
Alison discusses the highlights of her day below: Alison on getting ready for work in the morning: After waking up an hour late – I must have snoozed too many times and my alarm clock was like “F it, sleep all you want.”- I was rushing around to get dressed. As I put on my [...]
Fight Club and Other Shit (with Science!)
Introduction: My job is stupid. Don’t get me wrong, I like pay checks and employment, as I lack other methods for collecting said pay check, but working is just dumb. To clue you in to the environment of my mental personal hell, I’ve included a scene from this mornings antics: Method One: Boss: “Did you [...]
Turning Tricks with Report Writing
I’m a consultant – that means that I was hired by an organization to do a job that the organization hired their own inept worker to do, but when they realized their worker was too lazy to do it, they just shelled out more money to a third party and BAM! Here I is…. One [...]
How to Get More Vacation Time (Fired)
While working for my corporate overlords, it hasn’t escaped my attention that a huge complaint from co-workers seems to be the lack of available time off. After pondering this for about a few seconds, I started thinking, which I generally reserve for special holidays like Kwanzaa, but I digress. Therefore, I’ve used all of my [...]
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