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I’ve been slowly adding to Annie’s strange family dynamic ever since I blessed her with insanity way back when. Dinners like this can only happen in the winter, when Annie’s parents are around. She throws open all the windows, piles snow along the walls, and cooks a nice spaghetti dinner. Luckily, the cold also helps Robot Ben operate at maximum efficiency, and his conversations are a lot better than his usual repertoire of quotations from John C. Reilly movies and early episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

This comic was a nightmare. It has panels AND speech bubbles, both of which I tend to stay away from.

And that table really is pretty damn long. Adorable non sequitur. And I’m out!

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?

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We’ve had some bitter cold days here in the DC area (not as many as I would like, and certainly not enough snow, but whatever). What boggles my mind is all the professional women around here that wait for buses and subways in skirts. Short skirts. And not skirts with stockings or boots or anything else that would come between their skin and the weather. Just skirts, and bare skin from the thighs down. I don’t know how they do it. I don’t know why they do it. But it just seems like madness.

Unfortunately, Apsara’s suit is not an exaggeration.

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?

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I didn’t feel like writing a strip with actual dialogue for today. So instead of dialogue, I’ve inserted the basic idea of what the characters are saying. Feel free to imagine them talking about whatever the hell you want. It’s my Friday gift to you, gentle viewers.

After I finished this one, I realized that Winslow’s “Comparative analysis” in panel four might be read differently depending on how familiar you are with Ben and Winslow’s anatomy. When I do multi-paneled strips like this, I usually don’t draw the characters’ legs–but since the characters are so short, I’m really only leaving off their feet. Technically, Winslow is holding those cantaloupes (yes, those are cantaloupes) by his crotch. But he could just as easily be talking about that harbinger of old age, Melon Sag.

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?

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Happy Friday the 13th, everyone! Not only that, but I believe today is the first of several Friday the 13ths happening this year. I for one am glad that 2012 is the Year of the Dragon, because we’ll need that good luck to counteract all the bad luck. Or something. I’m not really sure how luck is supposed to work, exactly.

Winslow has definitely had some bad luck. But never fear. Dr. Spiderqueen is very talented. I mean, she has three pairs of eyes. You just know that’s got to be useful!

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?

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So here we are: the first Ben & Winslow comic of the new year. I’ve stuck to familiar themes of eating and monsters, which will hopefully lull you all into a false sense of security. Because strange stuff is afoot. Strange stuff is always afoot in the Ben & Winslow universe, but still. Don’t want you getting scared away early on.

This comic is based largely on my wife, who also refuses to use recipes. It’s not that she isn’t aware of them, she would much rather experiment with tastes and smells and textures than listen to what some stuffy old index card has to say. We haven’t had a monster attack yet, and no one has died of food poisoning.

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?

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I wanted to end the year with a sunset. So I drew a sunset. And something extra. See if you can find out what it is. It’s totally hidden. You’ll never really find it. Muahahahaha.

Oh. Yeah. The giant robot.

And thus ends the “Winslow Wins The Lottery” storyline. With a bitter robot attack.

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?

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So here is the result of Winslow’s request of Santa. You didn’t really think Santa would give Winslow Salma Hayek, did you? I mean, if he went to all that trouble to kidnap Salma Hayek, he would totally keep her for himself.

I hope all the Christmas-celebrating types out there have a merry one. Or a happy one. However you say it in your locale. And have you been enjoying the new issue of Defenestration? You damn well better be. :)

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?

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Being turned down by attractive celebrities is how sociopaths are made. At least in the cartoon world. Winslow is very likely to start kidnapping princesses next. That’s just how these things go down.

Santa has an odd place in my strips. I killed him off one year, and then brought him back for another. Obviously he’s still going strong.

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?

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Now that Winslow has won a sizable (if undefined) amount of money with a winning lottery ticket, it’s time to spend it! Money in the hands of Winslow is a potential danger. He’s just as likely to spend it on ham sandwiches, night vision goggles, and girlie mags as he is on stolen antiquities and doomsday devices. The option depicted here is a more responsible choice: hiring Salma Hayek to star in a movie is an investment, really. Just think of the money he could make with this thing!

One day, Salma Hayek will actually stumble upon this comic and write me a letter, flattered that a superstar such as myself would include her in one of my strips. And I’ll take that letter and hang it on my wall next to the similar letter I’m still waiting to receive from Neil Patrick Harris. So Ms. Hayek, if you ever read this, please know that I hold you in the highest regard possible, and that the next two strips mentioning you are admittedly creepy. I apologize. Winslow is a creepy character to write for. You only have to say the word and I’ll draw a picture of you kicking Winslow in the face. He deserves it.

The idea for this one stems from a similar idea a friend of mine plans to carry out should he win the lottery. His idea, however, has a better shot at actually being made.

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?

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Sometimes I wish human facial expressions had the elasticity of cartoon characters. No one would be able to hide their real feelings. And if anyone won the lottery, everyone would know without smug announcements of sudden wealth.

I admit this comic gets a little weird. I just starting inserting thoughts and it got out of control.

For the rest of the month, Winslow is going to try to spend his ill-gotten lottery winnings.

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Andrew Kaye (known in some circles as AK) is the creator of Ben & Winslow and other questionable comics, many of which can be found in his deviantART gallery. He’s also the editor-in-chief of this magazine. Duh?