Dave Clapper. "The Velocity of a Clitoris."   ADULT

Okay, here's the deal: regardless of what we think, if you look at this and you're under 18 (or your parents are prudes, or you are a prude), we are responsible for warning you that you will be looking at sex stuff. So if you aren't 18, don't click. If you do, since we've warned you already, we're NOT responsible. See how that works?

Jim Donadio. "Dating."

I stopped living with Kathleen because she made the apartment smell like fish. I’m not talking about that mother-and-daughter-playing-tennis, not-so-fresh-feeling smell.

Joseph Kim. "Majorly Fucked-Up Assholes."

The black lipstick had been meticulously applied, so had the black nail polish. And that hair, if indeed it was real, was so black as to give the illusion that it was sticky, that it could be used to tar a roof. Her name was Mona.  She was a 4^th-year MFA student – a poet:  “I concentrating on the subliminal sexuality of solipsism within the context of a main-framed universe.”

Tim Latshaw. "The Man in Manicure."

After a rough and rugged day out corralling horses on the range, searing the track in a formula one racer and/or fighting Nazis in search of the Holy Grail, don’t you just want to sit back, revel in your machismo, and just moisturize, moisturize, moisturize?

Jonathan Redhorse. "I Hate Jonathan Redhorse."

My wife and I were having trouble in our marriage.  We were destroying each other's nerves.  I disdained the manner in which she ate her food. Her mastication of meat created a sickening, squishy sound which made me think she was chewing on sponges.  

"Stella," I told her, "You are going to have to stop eating meat or I'm leaving."