Dear Geoff,

Many apologies for the delay in my response! It’s been a crazy couple of days. When I got home Monday, I discovered that my wife went missing in the middle of making dinner. The eggs and meat were out on the counter, the water was boiling on the stove, but the sliding glass door and our dining room table were completely smashed up. I’m surprised there wasn’t blood everywhere. My son didn’t see anything, but he’s pretty upset about it. Won’t stop crying. I mean, he’s six months old, so everyone thinks that’s normal, but it’s still been a lot. I’ll write to you under separate cover to schedule our next meeting. Apologies again.

Sincerely,
Jared

***

Dear Geoff,

Thank you for following up. It’s kind of you to ask after me and my son. Happily, my wife came back Sunday, and not a scratch on her! She’s mostly been sitting in the same place on our couch, not blinking, or sleeping, or eating, or acknowledging our presence, really, but it’s good to have her home safe. I appreciate the offer to reschedule the meeting. Things sure have been upside down in these parts!

Sincerely,
Jared

***

Hey Geoff,

Thanks for your patience in waiting to hear back from me. Regrettably, I’ve fallen behind on my correspondence. A few nights ago, I had to rush my wife to the hospital for a severe infection from an untreated bite that she had been hiding from me. I then had to rush out of the hospital because she transformed into a werewolf and we had to evacuate. She’s resting at home now—give it up for antibiotics and the waning gibbous!—and quite embarrassed about the whole thing. Anyway, let’s find a time to finally have that call. Let me know what works for you.

All best,
Jared

***

Hi again, Geoff,

I’m so sorry—I thought I had replied to you weeks ago! Is there a day other than Wednesday that you can do? I’m taking a half day that day for the full moon. As it turns out, my wife made our son into a werewolf sometime in the past month, so I’ve got to figure out how to set up a were-cage that will fit both of them. They don’t have that on WikiHow, let me tell you!

Aside from that, though, I’m wide open.

Best wishes,
Jared

***

Geoff,

Excuse the late email. I wanted to get back to you before I forgot again. A little busier here tonight than Iexpectedsince teh sicngle mom next door and her four kids seem to be werewolves as well and they are all roaming freee in my house right now. What a coincidence! Mywifehas been over there a lot lately though now that I think aboutti (I’m tapping this out while barricaded in the closet in the dark so sorry for all typos.) The morning might be a little rough around here but I think I canmake tomorrow afternoon at 2. I’ll call your office phone then. Looking forward to getting to connect at last!

Best,
Jared

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Caelyn Cobb’s writing has appeared in or is forthcoming from Passages North, X-R-A-Y, The Hunger, and elsewhere, and has been nominated for Best of the Net. She lives in Queens, New York. You can follow her on Twitter at @caelyncobb.