Don’t know what to make for dinner? How about the old stand-by, chicken? But don’t worry, you can jazz it up in ten different mouth-watering ways. These recipes are quick, easy, and completely serious.

1. Special Chicken

Chicken, salt, pepper, blue food coloring. Pretty special.

2. Pollo.

Chicken, salt, pepper, paprika. Serve with salsa and answer your kids with “¿verdad?”

3. Italian Chicken.

Chicken, salt, pepper, oregano. Serve over whatever pasta you have in the cupboard. Watch Real Housewives of New Jersey during dinner.

4. Philosophical Chicken.

Chicken, salt, pepper. Serve with scrambled eggs. Ask kids which should be served first.

5. Naked Chicken.

Chicken. You forgot the salt and pepper. Everyone was yelling and the TV was on. Leave Mommy alone.

6. College Reunion Coming Up Chicken.

Chicken, salt, pepper. Walk out of the room when everyone else is eating and do an exercise DVD. Later, binge on ice cream.

7. Chinese Chicken.

Chicken, salt, pepper, soy sauce from those packets you knew you would eventually use from last year’s takeout.

8. Happy Chicken

Chicken, salt, pepper. Call a babysitter and have her give it to the kids, along with doing bath and bedtime. Go out for pizza.

9. Marital Strain Chicken

Salt, pepper, chicken, cilantro. Oops, forgot that your husband thinks cilantro tastes like soap. Always something with him, isn’t it. Never happy.

10. Mother-in-Law Visit Chicken

Chicken, salt, pepper, rosemary, lemon, olive oil. Serve with stuffing and prosciutto wrapped asparagus. Get told that you shouldn’t feel bad for not being a whiz in the kitchen and everyone has their strengths. Do not get told what your other strengths are.

Next time: Five Pastry Recipes That Look Weirdly Like Store Bought Entenmann’s.

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Samantha Rodman is a clinical psychologist and mom of three kids under 5. She enjoys writing and cooking meals that her kids criticize. She blogs at Dr. Psych Mom and would love you to join her on Facebook or Twitter.