Archive for April, 2008
Defenestration: April 2008
Here we are, April, 2008, with a brand new issue of Defenestration. Love it as we love you. I’ll keep the editorial short this month, because the only thing I really have to say, aside from the fact that I love popsicles, is that we’ve updated our submissions guidelines to fit in with the changing [...]
“Commerce,” by Mike Wiegand
The big money in Iraq is in the coffin industry Business is Business and Business is Booming Even with the recent production increases Sajad’s shop can barely keep up It’s a good problem to have, he sighs, wiping his neck, shaking his head and smiling It’s a big day at the shop An American news [...]
“Yahoo Homepage/Perez Hilton/War Coverage Cutup,” by Nicole Henares
U.S. foreign policy dumb as shit we’d say not mean or crazy because Congress didn’t ask tough questions or demand accountability the result is what’s with the bunny though they oppose it 95% of Americans haven’t been touched by the war or the celebrity rumors where everyone has something to hide click to reveal their [...]
2 Poems by Ryan Rader
Pencil Today I noticed that Pencils don’t bleed, and if they did We would have cardboard hospitals filled with number two’s and sharpeners Would surely be outlawed, especially Those torturous cranks screwed into classroom walls. I figured that erasers would be sold As hats, but the longer pink rubbery monsters would be for the most [...]
“Harry Potter Writes a Series of Strongly Worded Letters to His Neighbors That Indicate He Misses Fighting Dark Wizards,” by John Frank Weaver
Dear Mr. Smith, I have asked you on numerous occasions to cut the branch on your tree that hangs over onto my property. These have been very reasonable requests and your refusal to comply is indicative of very Dark Magic at play. I believe you are under the control of a dark wizard who has [...]
“Wedding Quest,” by Andrew Kaye, Eileen Lavelle, and Genevieve Valentine
The email went out with the header “URGENT QUEST,” and even though they all knew how “urgent” it probably was, Neil and Targ and Susan still showed up at 3:30pm on Saturday at Steve Vandemoor’s house, said hello to Mrs. Vandemoor, and went into the basement. The basement was set up according to Mr. and [...]
“Chainsaws & Munchkins,” by J. Michael Dashiell
Daleville was reeling. After a freak tornado passed through, an astonishing anomaly occurred when it deposited of what appeared to be a community of legendary Munchkins. It seemed this incident amounted to The Wizard of Oz in reverse: Instead of a twister capturing a farm girl and transporting her to Oz, a tornado that originated [...]
Anti-limericks By Ivan O’Uris, lovingly compiled and remarked upon by Shawn Roney and E.E. Pointer
Warning: The following anti-limericks are rated NC-17 – or would be if the ratings system for American movies were applied to anti-limericks. But of course, it isn’t, so I guess we’ll have to concoct something, won’t we? So consider this warning a pre-warning to the appropriate warning. Appropriate Warning: The following anti-limericks are rated P, [...]
“Super Mario Acquiantences,” by Stephanie O’Donnell and Chris Plehal
Artwork by Stephanie O’Donnell Script by Chris Plehal ———— Born and raised in New York, Stephanie O’Donnell created the character “Poley Polarity” when she was 10 years old. At age 15, she had the character copyrighted on the advice of her father, a full time artist who also was interested in cartooning in his youth. [...]
“$100 Room to Rent,” by Jeff Crouch and Christopher Woods
(Click to Enlarge) ———— Jeff Crouch is an internet artist in Grand Prairie, Texas. Google “Jeff Crouch” to see where he has been. Christopher Woods lives in Houston and in Chappell Hill, Texas. It is in the latter place that he hears coyotes cry at night. He doesn’t mind them as much as the occasional [...]
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