1) As a baby what did you want to be when you grew up?

Father of 7 pups. However, that is not going to happen now.

More of that later.

2) What changed your mind?

The vet in cahoots with my mistress.

3) What do you like about your day-to-day life?

The fact that I am my own boss and make all the decisions in the house.

4) Do you have time for hobbies?

Yes: eating, snacking, masturbating, chasing sticks.

5) Do you have a family?

My parents sold me off (into near slavery) My pedigree name is Aberdeen Prince Minata. I don’t have any children, and, as I have already said, that is now unlikely, thanks to a certain party deciding on an operation I could, frankly, have done without.

(6) What do you like on TV or radio?

The ads for dog food.

7) What do you like for breakfast to get the day off to a flying start?

A really good quality biscuit mix soaked in rich gravy. Sadly, she never seems to get it quite right.

8) What’s your idea of a perfect evening?

Another bowl of biscuit mix, followed by chicken scraps, followed by a trot round the garden, alone.

9) What is your favourite film ever?

101 Dalmatians

10) Which international figures do you admire?

President Bush’s Scottie.

11) What makes you laugh?

The contents of the laundry basket in this house. I laugh most when my mistress goes out for the evening.

13) What makes you cry?

When she comes back.

14) What makes you angry?

Being woken up when I’m dozing in front of the telly just to be sent to my bed.

15) What do you like about yourself?

Just about everything.

16) What would you like to change about yourself?

I would like my testicles back.

17) What has been your most treasured possession?

My testicles

18) What changes would you like to see in Scotland?

I’m really looking forward to the legislation forcing owners to clear up our pooh. Ha ha ha. Also, I’d like to see Scotland with more lamp posts.

19) What one thing would you like to change in the world?

I would like to see the day when cruelty to animals no longer exists.

20) How would you like to be remembered?

As a happy little dog who gave a lot of pleasure to people –

EVEN if he didn’t have that much himself.

____________________

Ms Barry is 21 years old, has been for a long, long time. Although she has won a staggering number of press awards, the rumour that she’s slept with more awards judges than you’ve had hot dinners is simply that - a vicious rumour.

Nicola lives in Scotland ’s capital city, Edinburgh , with her partner, Alastair and their farting dog, Coll, who also ekes out a living as a writer.

The nutty trio have a house in a graveyard and are known locally as “the mad folk on the hill”.

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